Knowing that something is coming to an end soon and yet trying to work around it can be very messy. The day I started my college, I knew I wanted to get out of this place. All along I knew I was not going to stay here after graduation. But now that it is finally happening, it just feels so weird. Something doesn’t feel right. These glorious four plus years that I spent in this place is coming to an end and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know if this made sense but the point here is that maybe it’s not the end that is dreadful but the change that follows is scarier?
It’s hard getting used to not being around something or someone that you once adored for months or years. Most of us can’t handle things coming to an end so we build this unseen boundary around so we don’t have to deal with such loss again. And that limits the comfort zone. Some people push away people that care for them, some turn down the biggest opportunities in life, some stay at one place forever; because they are scared of starting all over again by gambling what they already have. When something comes to an end, it leaves an unseen scar and overlooking that scar and rebuilding the lost emotions/objects can be difficult.
Then again, is being scared enough to hold us down forever? Us human beings, we are weird. They say the grass is greener on the other side, yet we are afraid to walk to that other side. Why? No matter how not green and barren this side is, we are too comfortable with what we have in this zone. The brighter side might be happier and greener but we are so used to being in this side that we much rather stay in this dark zone forever. And I am not complaining about it, it’s human nature! I’ve seen the strongest people around me shattered to little pieces after losing something dear to them.
Is there a better way of dealing with it? I guess not. As Nelly Furtado sings, “Flames to dust.. lovers to friends.. why do all good things come to an end?”, everything does come to an end, sooner or later. The common mistake though, that I often tend to make is listening to that little voice in the back of my head that tells me “this is going to end”. This makes it difficult for me to let my guard down.
I remember someone once dear to me telling me, “if you are going to start this thinking this will end one day then what’s the point of even starting it?”. Getting over the fact that everything is momentary is not easy. I get scared when I get too happy thinking that it is coming to an end soon. Instead maybe I should start enjoying every moment rather than being afraid of losing what I have right now. And maybe you should too? Or at least give it a try?!? Cheers!