Monday, November 17, 2014

Why do all good things come to and end?!?



Everything in this world comes with an expiration date. Some come with date engraved while the others are just too sudden. Just look around yourself, what is it that is going to last forever? The food that you cooked last night? Nope. How about the top that you bought last week? Or the new silverware for your kitchen? Your new car? Well these are the objects that can be replaced if not recovered. But what I would really like to talk about are things bigger than the objects. Friendship? Relationship? Times spent with good people? Happiness? Yup, all the good things or even the bad ones don’t last forever. Unless it’s diamond, as they say. Well if you are someone prone to losing stuff like I am then even diamonds don’t stay forever with you, if not last! ;)

Knowing that something is coming to an end soon and yet trying to work around it can be very messy. The day I started my college, I knew I wanted to get out of this place. All along I knew I was not going to stay here after graduation. But now that it is finally happening, it just feels so weird. Something doesn’t feel right. These glorious four plus years that I spent in this place is coming to an end and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know if this made sense but the point here is that maybe it’s not the end that is dreadful but the change that follows is scarier?

It’s hard getting used to not being around something or someone that you once adored for months or years. Most of us can’t handle things coming to an end so we build this unseen boundary around so we don’t have to deal with such loss again. And that limits the comfort zone. Some people push away people that care for them, some turn down the biggest opportunities in life, some stay at one place forever; because they are scared of starting all over again by gambling what they already have. When something comes to an end, it leaves an unseen scar and overlooking that scar and rebuilding the lost emotions/objects can be difficult.  

Then again, is being scared enough to hold us down forever? Us human beings, we are weird. They say the grass is greener on the other side, yet we are afraid to walk to that other side. Why? No matter how not green and barren this side is, we are too comfortable with what we have in this zone. The brighter side might be happier and greener but we are so used to being in this side that we much rather stay in this dark zone forever. And I am not complaining about it, it’s human nature! I’ve seen the strongest people around me shattered to little pieces after losing something dear to them.

Is there a better way of dealing with it? I guess not. As Nelly Furtado sings, “Flames to dust.. lovers to friends.. why do all good things come to an end?”, everything does come to an end, sooner or later. The common mistake though, that I often tend to make is listening to that little voice in the back of my head that tells me “this is going to end”. This makes it difficult for me to let my guard down.

I remember someone once dear to me telling me, “if you are going to start this thinking this will end one day then what’s the point of even starting it?”. Getting over the fact that everything is momentary is not easy. I get scared when I get too happy thinking that it is coming to an end soon. Instead maybe I should start enjoying every moment rather than being afraid of losing what I have right now. And maybe you should too? Or at least give it a try?!? Cheers! 

Monday, November 3, 2014

Dealing with heartbreaks?!?

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Dealing with heartbreaks is the worst. Oftentimes in life we find ourselves in situations when we feel betrayed, ignored, left out or in simpler term just heartbroken. There could be zillions of reasons behind it. The one that I hate the most is when you care for someone just too much and don’t get even half of it in return. So in such conditions we try our best to find things to make ourselves feel better. I personally dance my stress away, or sometimes bake, or clean or find something to distract myself. Yet at the end of the day when you have no option but to face the sad demon within yourself, you realize how badly you’re hurting.

Coming to think about it though, I feel like we are the ones who put ourselves in that place. We are hurt because we care. We immensely put our trust in someone and get disappointed when we don’t get back the same in return, or at least most of us. We put some people in our top priority list when we barely even make it to their to-do-list… for the week.

It’s frustrating how you can see that you are not as important to them and still you care. You can give your hearts and lungs out (lol) to those people if possible. You also know that if you needed the same, they wouldn’t do it. These are the people that give you cold shoulders and yet you can’t help but care for them. You lose all your practical rationalism when it comes to these people.

I have been told by many that I am a very rational and practical person. And I do agree that I am.. Well for most people. I don’t have hard time saying no in situations. Then again there are these handful of people that fall under my top priority list that I care about with passion. What sucks most is when the people from that list are the people that let you down. Imagine when this realization strikes you when you are sitting in a public place and you can do nothing but cry your heart out. Then you are left with no option but to take the consolation from strangers because the person that was supposed to be your shoulder to cry on is the reason behind your tears. Yupp, definitely not a pleasing situation to be in.

How do we deal in these situations? I wish there was an easy way to get out of it. Imagine having a switch that would let you turn your emotions on and off when you wanted to. That would be wonderful!! I wish there was a better way for us to realize things. We are surrounded by people that love us and care for us. Yet we choose to take these people for granted and go after people that don’t even give a shite!

I am no expert when it comes to dealing with heartbreaks. But then as the saying by the great Abraham Lincoln goes, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be”. This is where I take the motivation from. I might be deeply shattered and heartbroken but I always try to find ways to make myself happy. I always chose to be happy over heartbroken. So all I can say to you folks is to try to find things that make you happy. Realizing that you are heartbroken and running it in your head over and over again just makes things worst. So rather than thinking about it and killing yourself within, try to do things that actually make you happy. Be with people who want to make you happy and do the same for them. I know it is hard but it is not something not do-able! Cheers! (: