Monday, December 30, 2013

Please let our boy-friends breathe!!


Okay no more feminism for a while now! Girlfriends, its been long since I have been loyal to us and have been favoring us, so its time to change the gear and take a moment to see if we are doing something wrong. This time my rant is about those clingy girlfriends of ours that need to let our boy-friends breathe.

We all have that one sweet boy-friend of ours who we think is going to make the best boyfriend/husband. He has all these nice qualities and we can always look up to him if we need help. This boy-friend of ours is such a sweet heart and he helps everyone out when needed. He likes hanging out with friends and having fun. But if we take a close look at his life, its a huge freaking mess. Why? Thanks to his overly attached girlfriend.

Dude she is like everywhere. Literally! She wants to be around him ALL.THE.TIME. After he started dating her, it looks like he has no life now.. besides her. You will often spot him around but everytime its either with her or with her friends. For some reason, she just doesn't want him to hang out with his friends anymore. God knows why! And fortunately if somehow he manages to spare some time out for his friends, she calls/texts him.. like in every half an hour or so. Most of the time, he even has some good explanation to do later. This might be the extreme situation but trust me, this isn't something uncommon.

This girlfriend just needs to calm the eff down and control her hormones/emotions. She needs to understand that he is not going anywhere. We all love having someone in our life and having that romantic kind of relationship. Everybody is definitely different but it is also true that once in a relationship, girls are more inclined towards flaunting him or the relationship in general every now and then. And that's completely fine.

Its cute to sometimes see couple pictures/posts on Facebook, Twitter, and all these other social networking websites you can think of. But as they say, too much sugar tastes bitter. There is a limit to everything. Even your favorite food starts tasting bad if you have a lot at once. Or even your favorite chick-flick starts looking absurdly unrealistic if you watch it again and again everyday.

I have seen these overly attached girlfriends who keep posting lubby-dubby posts or those pictures almost everyday. It might seem cute for a day or two but after that? psh! Not just other people, even her boyfriend is going to start hating them. Why doesn't she get it? *Sigh*

The worst is yet to come here. The way she invades his life. Jesus Christ! She blocks almost every girls out of his Facebook, Twitter, Skype, and what not and if possible she would even block them out of his life.. for real! Girlfriend, I know you think he is the best guy in the world and he means a lot to you. Okay! But just keep that in mind that not everyone feels the same way. He is not that BIG of a deal for everyone, trust me. If he genuinely tells you he has few girl-friends, have some faith in him. I understand the insecurities arising from some girls that you don't get good vibes from. But hello, how can you get that vibe from every girl around?

Not just girls, this girlfriend of ours is jealous of everyone important in his life in general. She wants him all to herself and all the time. Damn girl, don't you get bored of him? Even for some minutes? The sad part though is these girls get the good guys. Their boyfriends are the sweetest and they would just do whatever it takes to make her happy. It might be his fault as well if you take a close look at it, but since I started out saying no feminism, I'll not go there or dig into it now. (;

Girlfriends, if you can relate to this and if you think this is you in some way then there is nothing wrong in taking a step back. I know its easier said than done but we can always try. If we have someone who respects us and values us so much then doesn't he deserve the same in return as well? Is he asking for too much if he wants you to trust him? I understand its not that easy with all those mixed feelings of jealousy and insecurity, but if we try and overcome them, its only going to make things better.

So girlfriends lets think about it and see if we are really giving him enough room or just invading. If you think he needs space, give him some. He had a different life before you walked in. Things do change after that but then that life was and is a part of him. Why would you want to take that away? So don't make him stand in that difficult spot of decision-making like "its either her or me", or "its either them or me", or "you're either coming with me or this ends" and something like that.

If he's trying so much to gain your trust, take that risk and trust him. After all, you mean a lot to him too. You do realize that, don't you? So girlfriends, lets spread the word and let our boy-friends breathe!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Please let our girl-friends breathe!

Its vacation time for me.. yay! Amidst all the fun and meeting peeps after so long, I decided to write another piece. It might not be as good but I hope you all will appreciate the fact that I tried in this vacation-ey mood.

Sorry boys, but here is yet another complaint against some of you guys. Here goes my rant about some men who don't treat their woman right.

We all have that one girl-friend who we think is perfect. She is good at almost everything she does. She knows how to treat everyone right and she cares about everyone and makes sure everyone around her is happy. But then if you look closely into her life, its a big freaking mess. Why? Thanks to that stupid boyfriend of hers.

That boyfriend of her who doesn't really care what she does. She is so actively involved in so many things but he could care less. There are so many well wishers around and so many people encouraging her in what she does and supporting her all the time and then there is her boyfriend oblivious to everything and living his life big.

I wonder what he does or how he feels? What was he thinking when he wanted to be in a relationship with her? Was he the same when they started? Did something happen? She looks the same to me, hello? She has always been that cheerful person going around spreading happiness. Maybe I'm exaggerating a tad bit, but still.. she acts the same around us. So are you the only exception? or are you just exceptional?

This guy is just too difficult to understand. He makes her life horribly stinky when she is with him and when she wants to leave, he doesn't want her to go either. What do you want dear? Why don't you let her go if she is just a big burden in your life? Why do you keep her hanging in between?

You all might be thinking if she is not being treated right, why in the world is she still around? He is tricky trust me. He is mean all these times making her life a crazy mess. Finally she thinks she has had enough and she strengthens up and makes up her mind that she can do better. She is ready to leave and then.. boom.. there goes his drama. "Baby please don't leave", "Don't go, I will change for you, I will change for us", "This is the last time I promise, I have been terribly busy but give me just one last chance" blah blah blah.

When someone is so in love and the other one promises to change, you either have to be very strong or uberly realistic  (unlike many girls) to say no. So things are back to normal again. Its flowers, butterflies, and unicorns everywhere in this fairly land. He is back to normal.. for FEW DAYS. Then again the same cycle repeats again and again and again. I wonder when is it that this relationship finally ends? What makes the girl-friend of ours reach her breaking point.

If there was a simpler way of taking her to that breaking point, I would have taken her to that point long ago.. with my black magic.. trust me! (;

Its not even that she is scared that she is going to be single all her life without him. NO WAY! She has so many good guys lined up after her. There are definitely some better ones as well. She could be doing so much better with some of these guys who are super interested in her life. They care about her so much and they are always concerned about her. But because of this thing called "love" she thinks he will change someday and these guys are in the friend zone!

 If you pay close attention to couples around you, in most cases, its always the losers that get the good girls. Maybe because all the good ones are in friend zone? who knows?

Whatever it is, there is no way of telling if its ever possible to bring this guy back to how he was before. Or if he's still in love but seriously has some bigger issues going on in life. Or if its just communication gap, or there could be zillions of other reasons. But in the end all that matters is if he would only speak up and let her know what he wants. What his plans are. If he's always scared of commitment and not ready to be her "boyfriend", then he should definitely make up his mind. Spread the word peeps, let's not let our good girl-friends down! (:

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Stop The Violence- Live and let live!!!

These days the news feed on my Facebook is just flooded with news against violence and abuse. There are many different kinds but the one that has caught my attention the most is violence against women. This is a topic which only a small fraction of population has been able to discuss freely. Now things are changing though and people are getting together to fight against the violence. So here goes my rants and thoughts about the most common violence around the globe, "Violence Against Women"

This in itself is a very sensitive topic, so I will try my best to pick my words carefully. As a woman coming from a developing Asian country, violence against women was seen as a normal everyday thing when growing up. Back in the days, women were scared to even discuss about it with their family. Domestic violence was the most prevailing kind and no body really cared how the woman (victim) felt. I know I'm using past tense but things have changed a lot now (hopefully). With many women being educated, they have come to realize that they too have the right to speak and fight against being abused.

Abusing women varies from the smaller ones like petting the back a little too often, or constant touching or caressing in a not so friendly manner, to big/brutal ones like beating or raping. No matter how big or small, being abused is the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone.

To be honest, a woman will have been abused even just once at any stage of her lifetime. This is a sad and ugly truth with some incidents being told in open while the others just buried inside for long and finally taken to the grave with the victim. Confessing about such events can be very daunting and especially in the least developed countries, even worst, where the victims can be accused of provoking the abuser.

So why does it happen? Why don't SOME (before I get accused of generalizing) men understand that it's not right to treat women like their personal belonging? No, you can't touch a woman without her permission! The most common place where small abuses occur is public transportation. If the bus is crowded enough, you will be surprised how men use legs of a woman sitting next to them as their handstand and then just move it around in a really sick manner (or it just starts from there!). This happens! And then there are some men who can undress women with their eyes, literally! The stare in itself is an abuse, believe it or not.

I don't understand why these men do it though. What the hell do they think they are doing? Do they think its normal to randomly feel a stranger's body out in public like that? Dude learn how to calm your hormones. Even thinking about this makes me sick to the point of throwing up. Why is it so hard to control yourself? There are many men who have self control and are good at respecting women, so what is wrong with this group of sick men?

The sad part is when the abuser is from your family. We all have that one perverted uncle or cousin who takes up every opportunity possible to come close to you. All those stares in inappropriate areas and those never ending hugs and holding hands and what not. Its so hard to understand these men. They have a loving wife or partner and yet again they have this need to get this perverted satisfaction from someone else. Why?

No matter how much we think we can understand the pain of the victim, we really can't! The emotions are too deep, I'm sure. Even the smallest abuse can shake a woman up and disturb her for a long time, so I can only imagine how those women feel who are brutally abused and in worst cases by multiple men at once. That is just too inhuman.

The more we talk about it, the more saddening it gets. However, its great to see the changes now. The public response to Delhi rape case was pretty impressive and surprising at the same time. There were so many people ( and not just women) who stood up against the brutal abuse. I hope there will be a day when stories about abusing women will just be history. We can only be hopeful if nothing.

We can only pray for the better days when these sick men will understand the value and start respecting women. I wish there was a way to make them realize that all women are the same. So just because you're not blood-related to them doesn't mean you can carry on with your disgusting acts with them. Learn to respect women and in general everyone because everyone has the right to live a free life without the fear of being abused!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The much dreaded zone- Friend zone!!!

Its finals week and I have loads and loads of papers to write but guess what did I decide to do instead? All of a sudden I felt the urge to start a blog. I wanted to post my rant somewhere. Unfortunately, its too long to be put as a Facebook status so here I am with my rant about the most common complaints of all from boys: FRIEND ZONE!

Friend-zoned and depressed and disappointed? Dude, ask yourself, who put you in this situation? Did the girl ask you to be her bottom *beep*? Be honest, you had that in mind that she wasn't up for commitment. C'mon don't lie now, when it came to the topic about being in a relationship she always had zillions of excuses. You knew it but you still wanted to keep on trying, didn't you? You wanted to look good in her eyes, you wanted to be her prince charming. That is what kept you going.

There are all different cases of friend zones and I am talking about ones that I've seen the most. The girl is in a pathetic relationship but still loves her guy dearly. She might be confused, disappointed, and whatsoever but at the end of the day all she talks to you about is him. And you listen to her. *SIGH*

Did she ask you to? Did she ask you to be a shoulder to cry on? No, you volunteered!
She might have just been fine without you, but who will say no to a friend in need who seems to care so much? Just cuz she talks to you doesn't mean she is into you. You were too stupid to not realize the difference. If she constantly talks about him then NO you can't replace her "pathetic" boyfriend so stop trying!

Some cases are real bad where the girls don't give guys any clue and keep them confused but most of the time, I have seen my guy friends get into these trap on their own. They try to replace the guy or try to be the man of her dreams. Even with the clear negative signal you still keep trying and doing things for her. You go shopping with her, run her errands and what not.

Then why would you call her names finally after you take a long time to realize what was right in front of you?

So guys, if you have a girl who is making you her second option but not letting you go as well, please don't waste your time on her; else just prepare to be in your favorite spot: THE FRIEND ZONE! But after you take your time to realize, please have the decency to accept your own mistake and move on. Cheers!