Salad With A Side Of Tears Please!
Hello after a long time - to roughly 4 readers (Hi cousins!) I probably have left. ;) It's been tooooo long, how did I know? I just had to reset my password for this page, can't even remember the last log in. Also I had to revamp the whole page because apparently the 90s plain text/ no glamor page wasn't "cool" anymore so I was "suggested" to change the theme. Well few mins of playing around with fonts and colors, here we are! Now that I am in, I will try and post more often that I have been; not for the sake of hoping to increase my readers from 4 to roughly 10 (Hi second and third cousins!) I had before, but for the sake of my own sanity. I love to write. Whenever something bothers me, writing and complaining about it just makes everything right. So enough of the chit-chat, lets get to the point.
Body shaming, an art of bullying for some while a topic of self-destruction for others. Now before you roll your eyes and brush it off thinking you have heard enough of it, I would like to urge you to read it all anyway because there is nothing wrong in hearing about it 1001 times. Maybe you will be able to look at it from new perspective today. Maybe you will learn that sometimes a simple meaning comment as "I love your curves" could affect a person in ways that you may not even know.
I will start my admitting that I am fat and I am okay with it. It took a lot of courage to be able to say it out loud because I grew up believing that fat is ugly. I have never been comfortable with my body for as long as I can remember, until just recently. I don't exactly remember when it started or what stemmed it. However, I do remember an incident that left quite a negative impact in me about myself. One day I was on my way to my parent's bedroom when I overheard an intense conversation happening. I was probably thirteen then, recently got my period, early stages of puberty. I stopped at the door overhearing my aunts expressing concern to my mom about my body, especially my breasts because they were apparently bigger than what girls my age were supposed to have. My thirteen year old self couldn't comprehend the situation or the issue since that was all nature's doing, or was it? I don't know, I guess I could ask my aunts. I didn't know what to do or didn't want to confront the situation so I remember going back to my bedroom and bawling. This is a true incident that happened to me, I swear cousins I am not making it up. :P Part of me likes to believe that this is when I started getting body conscious and believing that I am what my body looks like. The fact that the discussion was happening led me to believe that it was a real issue and I would have to suffer because of it. I used to be extremely religious back then and I remember going to bed every night praying to god to make my body look normal and would go to bed hoping I would wake up a flat-chested girl, alas the "issue" got worse with age.
To this day, I don't feel comfortable with the curvy body that I have been blessed with, or cursed, who knows?! The second the weather drops down to 60s, I take out my coats and scarves so I can conceal the curves. Layer up and hide those "issues" just like it happens in brown families. As I got fatter, I also started to avoid seeing friends and families because I was ashamed of my weight. If they can't see me, they won't know I am fat, am I right? Brush off all the issues under the rug and pretend like nothing is wrong.
Enough about me and my sob story. Going back to the topic, body shaming someone is never okay, whether you are fat shaming someone or thin shaming them. It's so easy to judge someone for their body. If a person is fat, most people just jump to conclusion that the person is probably stuffing their face with pizza and donuts and what not. Not saying anything wrong with that, I love me some carbs! And if someone is skinny, the conclusion is they must be starving themselves to death everyday.
I come from the fatter demographic so I will share my opinion on it since I can relate. I have seen so many of my friends and people I know struggle with weight issues. I know people who have literally starved themselves to the point where they are fainting. I also know of some people who are bulimic. I also know some who are depressed to the point where they would rather take their life than be fat. As I am stating these problems, most of you are probably thinking the main problem is the people not being able to control their mouth, and that is the biggest problem. We identify the problem to be the person that is bulimic or depressed and judge them for not being able to take control. I don't know if that is right or not but in my personal opinion this world could be a little more liberal when it comes to body types. Some of you may say "but the world is changing, there are so many plus size models and clothing lines now". Yes there is, but clapping on the runway or posting on social media rooting for plus size models and then going back home relieved that you can still fit into 00 dress doesn't do anything for those plus size models. Or just the fact that "plus size" is a thing makes me so irritated. Why can't the sizes just keep increasing from 8, 10 to 12, 14, 16, and the likes or XL, XXL, XXXL, and the likes. Why the label? What the eff does "Plus Size" even mean? Where did it come from, someone please enlighten me.
What a sad world we live in. Pressurizing people to change their body is never a good solution. I have struggled with eating disorder for years. I have a sweet tooth so it doesn't help the case either. I don't know if I kept getting fatter from overeating or if I was just too depressed for gaining weight and kept eating to fill the void of happiness. If you are part of the portion that believes a person to be the problem, please believe me that fixing eating disorders is not as easy as giving up soda for lent. It requires a big lifestyle change and you have to be ready to make that change. Until someone is ready to make that lifestyle change, no matter what you suggest, it is not going to make a difference. So you can keep your opinions to yourself, that is how you help. I do understand people who are very close to you being concerned about your health issues and stuff like that but I can attest you here that the "fat person" in question is alarmingly aware. Who better to know about those health issues than the person going through it themselves?
Any who, the more I talk about it, the more annoyed I get. I just wish the new generation of people would be more accepting about it since our thoughts seem to be more liberal than others. I can't change the mindset of my aunts who were raised to believe that fat is ugly, it's too late. But we newer generation of people can make a difference. We can raise our sons and daughters right. We can take away the constant pressure from them to be so conscious about their bodies by being more accepting. I know media plays a big role in this whole big problem but it is never too late to start from your own family and start the change. Raise your children to believe that they are more than what they weigh. Don't body shame them, that way they won't think it's normal to do so and go around body shaming others.
Alright cousins, this is all for today, I hope you have at least one positive takeaway from this!
Body shaming, an art of bullying for some while a topic of self-destruction for others. Now before you roll your eyes and brush it off thinking you have heard enough of it, I would like to urge you to read it all anyway because there is nothing wrong in hearing about it 1001 times. Maybe you will be able to look at it from new perspective today. Maybe you will learn that sometimes a simple meaning comment as "I love your curves" could affect a person in ways that you may not even know.
To this day, I don't feel comfortable with the curvy body that I have been blessed with, or cursed, who knows?! The second the weather drops down to 60s, I take out my coats and scarves so I can conceal the curves. Layer up and hide those "issues" just like it happens in brown families. As I got fatter, I also started to avoid seeing friends and families because I was ashamed of my weight. If they can't see me, they won't know I am fat, am I right? Brush off all the issues under the rug and pretend like nothing is wrong.
Enough about me and my sob story. Going back to the topic, body shaming someone is never okay, whether you are fat shaming someone or thin shaming them. It's so easy to judge someone for their body. If a person is fat, most people just jump to conclusion that the person is probably stuffing their face with pizza and donuts and what not. Not saying anything wrong with that, I love me some carbs! And if someone is skinny, the conclusion is they must be starving themselves to death everyday.
I come from the fatter demographic so I will share my opinion on it since I can relate. I have seen so many of my friends and people I know struggle with weight issues. I know people who have literally starved themselves to the point where they are fainting. I also know of some people who are bulimic. I also know some who are depressed to the point where they would rather take their life than be fat. As I am stating these problems, most of you are probably thinking the main problem is the people not being able to control their mouth, and that is the biggest problem. We identify the problem to be the person that is bulimic or depressed and judge them for not being able to take control. I don't know if that is right or not but in my personal opinion this world could be a little more liberal when it comes to body types. Some of you may say "but the world is changing, there are so many plus size models and clothing lines now". Yes there is, but clapping on the runway or posting on social media rooting for plus size models and then going back home relieved that you can still fit into 00 dress doesn't do anything for those plus size models. Or just the fact that "plus size" is a thing makes me so irritated. Why can't the sizes just keep increasing from 8, 10 to 12, 14, 16, and the likes or XL, XXL, XXXL, and the likes. Why the label? What the eff does "Plus Size" even mean? Where did it come from, someone please enlighten me.
What a sad world we live in. Pressurizing people to change their body is never a good solution. I have struggled with eating disorder for years. I have a sweet tooth so it doesn't help the case either. I don't know if I kept getting fatter from overeating or if I was just too depressed for gaining weight and kept eating to fill the void of happiness. If you are part of the portion that believes a person to be the problem, please believe me that fixing eating disorders is not as easy as giving up soda for lent. It requires a big lifestyle change and you have to be ready to make that change. Until someone is ready to make that lifestyle change, no matter what you suggest, it is not going to make a difference. So you can keep your opinions to yourself, that is how you help. I do understand people who are very close to you being concerned about your health issues and stuff like that but I can attest you here that the "fat person" in question is alarmingly aware. Who better to know about those health issues than the person going through it themselves?
Any who, the more I talk about it, the more annoyed I get. I just wish the new generation of people would be more accepting about it since our thoughts seem to be more liberal than others. I can't change the mindset of my aunts who were raised to believe that fat is ugly, it's too late. But we newer generation of people can make a difference. We can raise our sons and daughters right. We can take away the constant pressure from them to be so conscious about their bodies by being more accepting. I know media plays a big role in this whole big problem but it is never too late to start from your own family and start the change. Raise your children to believe that they are more than what they weigh. Don't body shame them, that way they won't think it's normal to do so and go around body shaming others.
Alright cousins, this is all for today, I hope you have at least one positive takeaway from this!
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